this is not an emo blog

last night was hilarious. james, you old fool.

today tastes like soot in my mouth. dirty, dry waste, making me choke. suffocation somehow. even though nothing terrible happened. just a boring day. saturday night means jazz and liquor, laughter and smiles. or at least that's what it should mean. so far i've only got the jazz part down.

i am almost desperate for something. for it.

i can't tell if i'm depressed or just lazy, but i really hate getting out of bed in the morning. what makes it really complicated is that i absolutly hate the bed that i have, or rather, the bed that i share. it's incredibly uncomfortable, and smelly, and just plain repulsive.